Anyone know how to get a Systems Notes report that actually has the notes in the right order! I need them to be in the order that actually shows on the Systems Note subtab of the record, with Create being the first action. I can't seem to see anyway of organizing the data that way

Are you attempting this as a transaction saved search? Did you try adding the "system notes fields... date" and then sorting the results by the system notes date? That should at least put the notes in order by their date/timestamp.